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“Kitty’s love life in 2010: she told a guy she loved him because he shared his fries. Last week, she broke up with a man because his astrological sign was ‘not compatible with her new emotional support water bottle.’ The roast is updated, but the attachment style is not.”

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“You call yourself ‘Kitty’ but you hiss at sunlight, knock things off tables for fun, and threw up a hairball on my couch last Tuesday. The only thing ‘Lea’ about you is the field of red flags you leave behind.” “Kitty’s love life in 2010: she told a